Captain America - Great human story, bland villain.

The film journey leading to the Avengers movie has been a wild and exciting ride. Each hero screenplay was fun to watch, giving the general audience a simpler, leaner version of the stories without losing the essence of the comics they were based on. What's even more exciting is knowing that each new film that came out a step closer to the grandest one yet!

Thus, a year before the grand reunion of all these super heroes, we get one last stand-alone movie, Captain America: The First Avenger.

Synopsis

Steve Rogers (played by Chris Evans) is a lanky, clumsy and sheepish young man who is determined to join the army and serve his country. After some evaluation, he is accepted as a test subject for an experiment that will create a new breed of super-soldiers to fight against Red Skull and evil his army.

A Strong Human Story

Of course the movie has great fight scenes and spectacular special effects, that's expected of the series. What sets Captain America apart from the other Avenger movies is the very human story behind it. Instead of jumping into the super hero fray immediately, we are led to a rocky path of pity and disappointments in which our hero emerges from. It's not easy to make a hero look like a genuine dancing dummy, but they were able to believably do so. And while we can never relate to how awesome it would be to sling a heavy iron shield around, or jump long distances whilst a sea of fire roars from beneath us, we can relate to hope and determination.

And through that same story, they paid homage to the old costume while introducing the new one. It was smart, it didn't feel forced, and it was just plain brilliant.

Red Skull is as stereotypically boring as his name implies

Unfortunately, there's a big disconnection between the hero and the villain, ending the flow of the story and stuffing us with fights and Michael Bay explosions. In a lot of successful super hero movies, there's always a bond between the hero and the villain: Batman and Joker, Thor and Loki, Xavier and Magneto. Whether it's blood, goals or simply a clash of ideals, the hero and villain were made for each other.

With Captain America and Red Skull, it feels like everything was just a coincidence. Anybody could have replaced one or the other, it wouldn't make a difference. The villain was too shallow, there's absolutely nothing interesting about him other than his chilly red face. I've seen more interesting villains in kids cartoons. He wants world domination, that's it. No strange hobbies, no sick sense of humor, nothing. He was the villain, and Captain America was the hero. There was nothing in between to relish.

Recommendation

Despite its flaws, Captain America is still an enjoyable movie, though it's slightly weaker than the more popular titles of the Avengers franchise. Its second half is weak, but the first and last part - particularly the end of credits trailer *wink wink* - makes up for it. Feel free to take a bathroom break when they start blowing things up, you won't miss much.

Beastly - A Tale as Stale as Time

YES, I LIVE. Apologies for the long, unforgivable delay of my reviews. I have been busy, sick, unfocused, and stressed. Brain is still kinda fuzzy, but I hope you enjoy the review!

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Tween Movies. They are the universe’s punishment to a rebellious generation by giving them delusional daughters who think school is where all the drama is, and the only escape is to find a dude whose got zero personality and some fancy skin problem (sparkles, animated tattoos, you name it).

I’m not even going to bother with a synopsis. It’s Beauty and the Beast if it were written by Stephane Meyer. What I WILL do is compare Disney’s classic with this piece of PG-rated porn for girls to tell you that there’s more logic and creativity in a decade old cartoon for kids.

You can't have Teen Porn without Stereotypes

The main character is a hot young man who is a jerk because he's got daddy issues (*slash wrist here*). Love interest is sweet and likable, but she is a total Mary Sue. Throw in bland random blind guy and Mrs. Teapot to act as the magic Negroes to complete the cast. Oh, and Kate Olsen plays... Kate Olsen. If there's anything I liked about this movie, it's seeing her strut her stuff and be fierce.

Needs more "smize" though

Because being "ugly" is the best way to cure your bad attitude /End sarcasm

It gets to me how they downplayed Beast's change of attitude. In the cartoon, when the prince was turned into a beast, he became secluded but he was still an ass until he got to know Belle. And even that didn't happen overnight. It shows that, while she was attractive, it was ultimately her kindness and love that changed him to be a better person.

Here, the moment prince charming gets inked, he instantly falls in love and stalks little miss sunshine, who apparently has abduction fantasies seeing as she isn't THAT bothered being locked up "supposedly" against her will.

Unrealistic, unbelievable and just plain STUPID.

I HAVE to spoil you on this to prove a point (it's not like you don't know how this shit is going to end anyway). There's a scene where this film's "Beauty", Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), and her dad get mugged. Lindy gets knocked out and stalker boy "Beastly", Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) carries her to their apartment LEAVING THE DAD TO FEND FOR HIMSELF.

Oh, but the inconsiderate stupidity doesn't end there!

Kyle suddenly realizes that Lindy would probably get upset if her dad died (d'oh). He goes back to the alley to find that her dad has shot one of the muggers. Mugger's brother vows revenge and runs up a set of stairs. Instead of actually shooting the other mugger from the same mother (or even just threaten him), dad does... nothing. And because of his actions - or lack thereof - he and his daughter will live in total paranoia. Maybe he ran out of bullets, but then why is he still pointing it at the mugger, and eventually to Kyle?

And what does Mr. good-hearted Kyle do to comfort the shaken man? He blackmails the guy into forcing his daughter to stay with him! And because daddy loves his little girl so much, he accepts the offer and forces his daughter to live with a total stranger who looks like Kat Von D's failed experiment!

Shoot him? Call the police? Runaway forever? Fuck that, he's got a bad case of awesome looking herps!

And this over the fear of a mugger who doesn't even look like he has threatening connections to search for people! That is one of the many, MANY "intelligible" scenes you will encounter in this movie.

This movie does NOT understand what being ugly is, and the relevance it has to the tale

But of all these things I hate about the movie, this takes the beef: The reason Beast was described as an animal-like creature even in the original tale was to see if Beauty's love is enough to disregard the biological, moral and logical alarm bells going off her head. Hence, even after showering her with gifts, Belle was still hesitant of how she felt about Beast.

In Beastly, finding "true love" isn't really a problem, the guy just had to dump the snobs he was with for those with ink and disfigurement fetishes. He is actually still pretty good looking, not even half as ugly as Quasimodo. And he's LOADED. If he's that desperate, I'm sure he'll find what he seeks in a country much poorer than his!

He's human, ergo still bangable. I can't believe Beastly would feel AS MUCH despair as a man turned into something that's no longer human and had to make someone love him. To me, he was just a whiny prick who became socially awkward.

Recommendation

If you're a girl who needs to feel like a special snowflake but can't wait for the next Twilight sequel, or just want to laugh at girls like that, then this movie is for you.

For everyone else, go watch the highly superior Disney version.  It's not the worst film I've seen, but it's a sloppy modernization of a classic tale. It sacrificed the heart of the story to keep it's cast pretty, and that is the greatest irony of this tragic romance.

Late post? Blame Blogspot. Now here's some awesome Julio Valiente and Leon Guerrero videos.

I'm very pissed right now because I can't seem to access my already written reviews. I've been trying to access them for 2 days already, and still they won't load properly AAAAH. *throws stuff in rage*

I leave you with this instead while I try to retrieve (or rewrite) my files This is a reminder to you all that once upon a time, Filipino movies and tv series KICKED ASS!!! These films prove that Lito Lapid owns Chuck Norris, Dante and Kratos even if they attack him all at once.

Sucker Punch - How I wanted to love you

To be honest, I entered the cinema favorably bias to the film. It promised hot chicks with guns and swords, giant monsters, different cool scenarios, and lots of ass kicking. What's not to like? Alas, as the credits rolled, all I felt was befuddlement, wondering why am I *thinking* about the story instead of enjoying the gritty fight scenes.

The story of Sucker Punch revolves around a troubled 20 year old girl nicknamed "Babydoll", whose mother and sister were killed by her greedy step father. He sends Babydoll to an asylum, and bribes Blue Jones, the asylum's orderly, to "fix" his step daughter, keeping her mouth shut forever. Before her scheduled operation, Babydoll starts daydreaming that the Asylum is a brothel, and that everyone she encountered was a character in her story. She and four other patients/entertainers plot a way out the asylum/brothel. With each progress they make at escaping, she does a sexy dance (spoiler: nope, you are never going to see what she actually does) that enthralls everyone and triggers another daydream where their tasks become grand missions of epic proportions.

Basically, she's daydreaming within a daydream to execute things in reality. If it sounds complicated, it is, and that's what bothers me.

Audiences usually forgive action movies for having simpler storylines, because we watch them for the ass kicking, high flying, boombastic stunts. This poorly executed Inception-rip-off made it look like they couldn't decide which scenario was cooler, so they did all of them, using IMAGINATION as an excuse for showing off THE POWER OF BOOBS, COSTUMES AND CG *THUNDER AND LIGHTING*.

It's a question of  necessity: Did the movie really need three levels of consciousness/subconsciousness to deliver a point? Why not just erase either the asylum or brothel, then have Babydoll's imagination reign freely from there? And all this I could have ignored if it weren't for the fact that the twist in the end gave me more confusion instead of a revelation.

On the bright side, I did fall for THE POWER OF BOOBS, COSTUMES AND CG *THUNDER AND LIGHTING*, I just wish there was more of that. They have a terrific cast of girls who each had her own unique identity. The CG is fantastic, the costumes are beautifully elaborate, and the OST is so good, at times it seemed like the film forgot it's a movie and transitioned into a mini music video (at least it entertained me more than having to understand what was going on). I had hoped the fight scenes would wow me enough to forgive the sloppy story telling, but they over-used the slow-mo effect to the point where I wanted to scream "JUST PUNCH THE GUY ALREADY!" (it shows the girls lack of athletic abilities too).

Recommendation:

This is better as a video game or a comic book. As a game designer, everything you need is there, you just have to clean up the story. At least the audience would be engaged, and the fight scenes wouldn't be such adrenalin cock-blockers.

For everyone else, it's a disappointing film. I REALLY wanted to fall in love with it. Sadly, it did not deliver enough to match my lowest expectations of mind-blowing action sequences. And this movie is from a guy who gave us the epic line, "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!"

Go watch Sucker Punch for the bad ass girls, entertaining scenarios and effects, but if you decide to pass it, don't worry, you are not missing much.

Tatarin (Loosely translated to "Summer Solstice") - A dark, edgy, feminist film that is proudly Filipino

Straying far away from pretty but untalented face "actors", cheesy dialogues, and cliche plots that are probably rip-offs of other Western or Asian movies, lies a cinematic gold that every Pinoy over the age of 18 can be proud of. Tatarin (which means "to chop") is a movie that is able to intertwine Filipino culture, beliefs, and mentality into a story that is not only entertaining, but enlightening as well.

The story revolves around Doña Guadalupe, nicknamed Lupe (Dina Bonnevie), the conservative and submissive wife of the wealthy haciendero, Don Paeng (Edu Manzano). Lupe comes to realize the power of her sexuality as woman through the Pagan fertility ritual of Tatarin. This mysterious festivity celebrated by the servants of the couple is said to empower the woman to bend the will of every man to her desires.

What I really love about this film is that, while it is set somewhere between the Post-Hispanic American colonization, the issues tackled are still applicable to modern Filipinos: 1) The Catholic religion's hold on the image of an ideal woman, 2) the mix of Pagan rituals with Christian beliefs, 3) the female sexuality and identity, 4) the more liberal way of thinking as oppose to the traditional culture, and 5) racial identity (or the denial of it). All these are presented through different characters, who are equally interesting. Everything is presented in a raw, edgy old fashion style of filming that actually helps the movie,

Unfortunately, the movie's dialogue and sequencing are sometime inconsistent and sloppy. An example is when Lupe said the parade will be held in 3 days, then next thing you know, there is a parade now. Is it a different parade? I don't know, but they do have the same name. Another example is Guido's (Carlos Morales) ill-constructed explanation of an ideology that made me go "what?".

Also, there are a lot of unnecessary and repetitive scenes  - both sexual and wholesome - that drag on the story. The movie can come off as exploitative, perhaps banking on the popularity of sexy films being released at the time.

Recommendation

Though sometimes excessive, the film is still darkly beautiful and entertaining. Not a lot of Filipino movies try to push the envelope, but this dared to leap forward by looking back on its country's past and tying it up with the present. If you are mature enough to understand the underlying messages over a lot of sexy scenes, I encourage you to see this film.

Kanna-San, Daiseikou Desu (Kanna's Big Success) ~ Endearingly fun, though silly

Most Japanese movies have a lot in common with anime: They're always over the top and lack the subtlety and realism Western films are well known for. Yet, the actors manage to balance their roles that the don't come off as cheap, annoying or cheesy (e.g. Search for the trailer of "Super Inday and the Golden Bibe", and see if your ears don't bleed from the I'M SO FUCKING GAY narration).

Ironically, I'm not much of chick-flick fan. But when I saw the colorful, quirky intro of Kanna-San, Daiseikou Desu, I got hooked. Based on a manga of the same title, the story revolves around Kanna (Yu Yamada), a "plastic beauty" who had several surgeries done to transform her "ugly self" to a beautiful swan. The movie splits into 2 plots: the first part of the movie deals with Kanna trying to make her prince charming fall in love with her, the latter deals more with trying to keep her successful job in the fashion world. At the heart of all this is a humorously touching story of friendship and self discovery.

Just like most animes, the characters are very likable, whilst the story is ok. Kanna is annoying at first, but she grows on you. Her portrayal makes sense: She was brought up as an "ugly girl", hence she doesn't know how to "act pretty". After her surgery, she observes and imitates naturally pretty girls, resulting in a superficial and naive personality. But while the operations could not remove her insecurities, it also did not change her good heart.

Beautiful contrasts to her are Kabako (Shizuyo Yamasaki) and Reiko Sumidagawa (Aoi Nakabeppu).  Kabako, while in the same boat as pre-surgery Kanna in the earlier part of the movie,  develops confidence and esteem without operations through the help of her friends. On the other hand, we have Reiko, who is more sophisticated and is 100% naturally beautiful inside and out.  This unlikely combination results into much gags and silly adventures as the 3 climb their way up to the fashion industry.

The movie does have pacing and consistency issues. While funny, there are just too many scenes I don't think are necessary. There are excessive effects for a simple movie: There's the "Kanna concentration" view, the 3D animation showing Kanna's past, and the strange monochromatic view. And just like in animes, the characters, particularly Kanna, does a lot of inner monologues rather than just acting out what she feels.

But my biggest problem with the movie is the confusing message towards the end. I'm not sure if it's just a case of bad choice of words in the subtitles, but the movie contradicts the earlier message of self-esteem and a sense of identity. Also, there is a really cheesy scene where Kanna is treated like a hero after a speech that I did not find uplifting. Personally touching for her and her friends, yes, but motivational enough to make people line up and congratulate her, no.

Recommendation

While not perfect and not entirely original, this movie is enjoyable. The first part is solid, and though the movie looses its way towards the end, it maintains its light-hearted humor. If you're having one of those days where you don't feel as pretty as you really are and need some uplifting laughs, go see this movie, preferably with your *snap snap* girl friends.

Burlesque Review - Not terrible, but cliche, cheesy and unentertaining

If you’re going to make a cliché and cheesy film, the least you can do for your audience is make the characters likable. That’s the biggest problem I have with Burlesque, a musical film written by Steven Antin starring Christina Aguilera and Cher.

The main plot revolves Ali Rose (Christina), a girl from Iowa who came to Los Angeles in search of her dreams. As she explores the city, she comes across a Burlesque club, owned by Tess (Cher) and finds herself enamored by the art of teasing and alluring the audience with sexy, provocative dances. Ali tries to convince Tess to let her join the little group of sexy dancers, not knowing the club is suffering from financial issues (in Ali's defense, who would have thought so? Every show looks extravagant and costly).

The movie has a Moulin Rouge story with a Chicago flavor on the musicals. The problem is the aforementioned movies did a better job with the story and characters. Chicago is ground breaking and beautiful, with its gripping story and great presentation. Moulin Rouge, while cliché, made the characters very likable and presented an interesting way of storytelling. None of that is present in Burlesque.

The characters are stereotypical cinema cardboard cutouts. While not beating Bella from the Twilight series in the greatest (most useless) Mary-Sue ever made, Ali is just too perfect it's boring. She’s sweet, she’s talented, and faultless. Meanwhile, Nikki (Kristen Bell) plays the bitchy, jealous, hard drinking rival. Tess is the mother goose, and Sean (Stanley Tucci) is the white gay equivalent of the “magic Negro”. They all play these roles perfectly. Too perfect, in fact, that they’re not relatable. To be fair, the script doesn't give much room to let the actors spread their wings.

The musical numbers, while somewhat entertaining, does not really progress the story. In Chicago, they told the story of the convicts through the song “The Cell Block Tango” and the courtroom drama through “Hocus Pocus”. Here, the songs are like an after thought. They are just meant to fit what the character is feeling, like how you’d listen and wail to “All by myself” after a bad break up. The movie would survive without the dance and song numbers, and that's when you know there's something wrong with your musical.

Recommendation:


For all its grandness, there’s not much to be said about the story. It’s been done a thousand times, and this brings nothing new to the old tales of success after much hardship. Burlesque is not a bad film, but it is forgettable. Go see it if you’re in the mood for a Cher/Christina Aguilera concert. Otherwise, you’re better off with Tangled.

Welcome to Asian Chick Flicks! ~ An Introduction

Greetings earthlings! I see you have stumbled upon my spunky new blog (which I may or may not "redecorate" later). Below, I shall address some questions you are probably asking yourself.


1. Ok, where the hell am I? What the hell is this?

This is my little review blog where I can put my two cents of everything under the sun. Mostly, I'll be reviewing movies I recently watched, although I'm not limiting myself to any timeline or genre. I might also insert a few anime, manga, video games or convention reports. Anything is possible.

2. Wait, so you're not limited to reviewing Asian chick flicks? Then what's with the title?


Actually, that pertains more to me. I'm Asian, I'm a chick, and these are my reviews of these "flicks". Get it? No? Well then... leave me alone, I'm amused by it. I will be reviewing both Western and Asian movies, so it's not entirely false advertising.