Burlesque Review - Not terrible, but cliche, cheesy and unentertaining

If you’re going to make a cliché and cheesy film, the least you can do for your audience is make the characters likable. That’s the biggest problem I have with Burlesque, a musical film written by Steven Antin starring Christina Aguilera and Cher.

The main plot revolves Ali Rose (Christina), a girl from Iowa who came to Los Angeles in search of her dreams. As she explores the city, she comes across a Burlesque club, owned by Tess (Cher) and finds herself enamored by the art of teasing and alluring the audience with sexy, provocative dances. Ali tries to convince Tess to let her join the little group of sexy dancers, not knowing the club is suffering from financial issues (in Ali's defense, who would have thought so? Every show looks extravagant and costly).

The movie has a Moulin Rouge story with a Chicago flavor on the musicals. The problem is the aforementioned movies did a better job with the story and characters. Chicago is ground breaking and beautiful, with its gripping story and great presentation. Moulin Rouge, while cliché, made the characters very likable and presented an interesting way of storytelling. None of that is present in Burlesque.

The characters are stereotypical cinema cardboard cutouts. While not beating Bella from the Twilight series in the greatest (most useless) Mary-Sue ever made, Ali is just too perfect it's boring. She’s sweet, she’s talented, and faultless. Meanwhile, Nikki (Kristen Bell) plays the bitchy, jealous, hard drinking rival. Tess is the mother goose, and Sean (Stanley Tucci) is the white gay equivalent of the “magic Negro”. They all play these roles perfectly. Too perfect, in fact, that they’re not relatable. To be fair, the script doesn't give much room to let the actors spread their wings.

The musical numbers, while somewhat entertaining, does not really progress the story. In Chicago, they told the story of the convicts through the song “The Cell Block Tango” and the courtroom drama through “Hocus Pocus”. Here, the songs are like an after thought. They are just meant to fit what the character is feeling, like how you’d listen and wail to “All by myself” after a bad break up. The movie would survive without the dance and song numbers, and that's when you know there's something wrong with your musical.

Recommendation:


For all its grandness, there’s not much to be said about the story. It’s been done a thousand times, and this brings nothing new to the old tales of success after much hardship. Burlesque is not a bad film, but it is forgettable. Go see it if you’re in the mood for a Cher/Christina Aguilera concert. Otherwise, you’re better off with Tangled.