Late post? Blame Blogspot. Now here's some awesome Julio Valiente and Leon Guerrero videos.

I'm very pissed right now because I can't seem to access my already written reviews. I've been trying to access them for 2 days already, and still they won't load properly AAAAH. *throws stuff in rage*

I leave you with this instead while I try to retrieve (or rewrite) my files This is a reminder to you all that once upon a time, Filipino movies and tv series KICKED ASS!!! These films prove that Lito Lapid owns Chuck Norris, Dante and Kratos even if they attack him all at once.

Sucker Punch - How I wanted to love you

To be honest, I entered the cinema favorably bias to the film. It promised hot chicks with guns and swords, giant monsters, different cool scenarios, and lots of ass kicking. What's not to like? Alas, as the credits rolled, all I felt was befuddlement, wondering why am I *thinking* about the story instead of enjoying the gritty fight scenes.

The story of Sucker Punch revolves around a troubled 20 year old girl nicknamed "Babydoll", whose mother and sister were killed by her greedy step father. He sends Babydoll to an asylum, and bribes Blue Jones, the asylum's orderly, to "fix" his step daughter, keeping her mouth shut forever. Before her scheduled operation, Babydoll starts daydreaming that the Asylum is a brothel, and that everyone she encountered was a character in her story. She and four other patients/entertainers plot a way out the asylum/brothel. With each progress they make at escaping, she does a sexy dance (spoiler: nope, you are never going to see what she actually does) that enthralls everyone and triggers another daydream where their tasks become grand missions of epic proportions.

Basically, she's daydreaming within a daydream to execute things in reality. If it sounds complicated, it is, and that's what bothers me.

Audiences usually forgive action movies for having simpler storylines, because we watch them for the ass kicking, high flying, boombastic stunts. This poorly executed Inception-rip-off made it look like they couldn't decide which scenario was cooler, so they did all of them, using IMAGINATION as an excuse for showing off THE POWER OF BOOBS, COSTUMES AND CG *THUNDER AND LIGHTING*.

It's a question of  necessity: Did the movie really need three levels of consciousness/subconsciousness to deliver a point? Why not just erase either the asylum or brothel, then have Babydoll's imagination reign freely from there? And all this I could have ignored if it weren't for the fact that the twist in the end gave me more confusion instead of a revelation.

On the bright side, I did fall for THE POWER OF BOOBS, COSTUMES AND CG *THUNDER AND LIGHTING*, I just wish there was more of that. They have a terrific cast of girls who each had her own unique identity. The CG is fantastic, the costumes are beautifully elaborate, and the OST is so good, at times it seemed like the film forgot it's a movie and transitioned into a mini music video (at least it entertained me more than having to understand what was going on). I had hoped the fight scenes would wow me enough to forgive the sloppy story telling, but they over-used the slow-mo effect to the point where I wanted to scream "JUST PUNCH THE GUY ALREADY!" (it shows the girls lack of athletic abilities too).

Recommendation:

This is better as a video game or a comic book. As a game designer, everything you need is there, you just have to clean up the story. At least the audience would be engaged, and the fight scenes wouldn't be such adrenalin cock-blockers.

For everyone else, it's a disappointing film. I REALLY wanted to fall in love with it. Sadly, it did not deliver enough to match my lowest expectations of mind-blowing action sequences. And this movie is from a guy who gave us the epic line, "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!"

Go watch Sucker Punch for the bad ass girls, entertaining scenarios and effects, but if you decide to pass it, don't worry, you are not missing much.

Tatarin (Loosely translated to "Summer Solstice") - A dark, edgy, feminist film that is proudly Filipino

Straying far away from pretty but untalented face "actors", cheesy dialogues, and cliche plots that are probably rip-offs of other Western or Asian movies, lies a cinematic gold that every Pinoy over the age of 18 can be proud of. Tatarin (which means "to chop") is a movie that is able to intertwine Filipino culture, beliefs, and mentality into a story that is not only entertaining, but enlightening as well.

The story revolves around Doña Guadalupe, nicknamed Lupe (Dina Bonnevie), the conservative and submissive wife of the wealthy haciendero, Don Paeng (Edu Manzano). Lupe comes to realize the power of her sexuality as woman through the Pagan fertility ritual of Tatarin. This mysterious festivity celebrated by the servants of the couple is said to empower the woman to bend the will of every man to her desires.

What I really love about this film is that, while it is set somewhere between the Post-Hispanic American colonization, the issues tackled are still applicable to modern Filipinos: 1) The Catholic religion's hold on the image of an ideal woman, 2) the mix of Pagan rituals with Christian beliefs, 3) the female sexuality and identity, 4) the more liberal way of thinking as oppose to the traditional culture, and 5) racial identity (or the denial of it). All these are presented through different characters, who are equally interesting. Everything is presented in a raw, edgy old fashion style of filming that actually helps the movie,

Unfortunately, the movie's dialogue and sequencing are sometime inconsistent and sloppy. An example is when Lupe said the parade will be held in 3 days, then next thing you know, there is a parade now. Is it a different parade? I don't know, but they do have the same name. Another example is Guido's (Carlos Morales) ill-constructed explanation of an ideology that made me go "what?".

Also, there are a lot of unnecessary and repetitive scenes  - both sexual and wholesome - that drag on the story. The movie can come off as exploitative, perhaps banking on the popularity of sexy films being released at the time.

Recommendation

Though sometimes excessive, the film is still darkly beautiful and entertaining. Not a lot of Filipino movies try to push the envelope, but this dared to leap forward by looking back on its country's past and tying it up with the present. If you are mature enough to understand the underlying messages over a lot of sexy scenes, I encourage you to see this film.

Kanna-San, Daiseikou Desu (Kanna's Big Success) ~ Endearingly fun, though silly

Most Japanese movies have a lot in common with anime: They're always over the top and lack the subtlety and realism Western films are well known for. Yet, the actors manage to balance their roles that the don't come off as cheap, annoying or cheesy (e.g. Search for the trailer of "Super Inday and the Golden Bibe", and see if your ears don't bleed from the I'M SO FUCKING GAY narration).

Ironically, I'm not much of chick-flick fan. But when I saw the colorful, quirky intro of Kanna-San, Daiseikou Desu, I got hooked. Based on a manga of the same title, the story revolves around Kanna (Yu Yamada), a "plastic beauty" who had several surgeries done to transform her "ugly self" to a beautiful swan. The movie splits into 2 plots: the first part of the movie deals with Kanna trying to make her prince charming fall in love with her, the latter deals more with trying to keep her successful job in the fashion world. At the heart of all this is a humorously touching story of friendship and self discovery.

Just like most animes, the characters are very likable, whilst the story is ok. Kanna is annoying at first, but she grows on you. Her portrayal makes sense: She was brought up as an "ugly girl", hence she doesn't know how to "act pretty". After her surgery, she observes and imitates naturally pretty girls, resulting in a superficial and naive personality. But while the operations could not remove her insecurities, it also did not change her good heart.

Beautiful contrasts to her are Kabako (Shizuyo Yamasaki) and Reiko Sumidagawa (Aoi Nakabeppu).  Kabako, while in the same boat as pre-surgery Kanna in the earlier part of the movie,  develops confidence and esteem without operations through the help of her friends. On the other hand, we have Reiko, who is more sophisticated and is 100% naturally beautiful inside and out.  This unlikely combination results into much gags and silly adventures as the 3 climb their way up to the fashion industry.

The movie does have pacing and consistency issues. While funny, there are just too many scenes I don't think are necessary. There are excessive effects for a simple movie: There's the "Kanna concentration" view, the 3D animation showing Kanna's past, and the strange monochromatic view. And just like in animes, the characters, particularly Kanna, does a lot of inner monologues rather than just acting out what she feels.

But my biggest problem with the movie is the confusing message towards the end. I'm not sure if it's just a case of bad choice of words in the subtitles, but the movie contradicts the earlier message of self-esteem and a sense of identity. Also, there is a really cheesy scene where Kanna is treated like a hero after a speech that I did not find uplifting. Personally touching for her and her friends, yes, but motivational enough to make people line up and congratulate her, no.

Recommendation

While not perfect and not entirely original, this movie is enjoyable. The first part is solid, and though the movie looses its way towards the end, it maintains its light-hearted humor. If you're having one of those days where you don't feel as pretty as you really are and need some uplifting laughs, go see this movie, preferably with your *snap snap* girl friends.

Burlesque Review - Not terrible, but cliche, cheesy and unentertaining

If you’re going to make a cliché and cheesy film, the least you can do for your audience is make the characters likable. That’s the biggest problem I have with Burlesque, a musical film written by Steven Antin starring Christina Aguilera and Cher.

The main plot revolves Ali Rose (Christina), a girl from Iowa who came to Los Angeles in search of her dreams. As she explores the city, she comes across a Burlesque club, owned by Tess (Cher) and finds herself enamored by the art of teasing and alluring the audience with sexy, provocative dances. Ali tries to convince Tess to let her join the little group of sexy dancers, not knowing the club is suffering from financial issues (in Ali's defense, who would have thought so? Every show looks extravagant and costly).

The movie has a Moulin Rouge story with a Chicago flavor on the musicals. The problem is the aforementioned movies did a better job with the story and characters. Chicago is ground breaking and beautiful, with its gripping story and great presentation. Moulin Rouge, while cliché, made the characters very likable and presented an interesting way of storytelling. None of that is present in Burlesque.

The characters are stereotypical cinema cardboard cutouts. While not beating Bella from the Twilight series in the greatest (most useless) Mary-Sue ever made, Ali is just too perfect it's boring. She’s sweet, she’s talented, and faultless. Meanwhile, Nikki (Kristen Bell) plays the bitchy, jealous, hard drinking rival. Tess is the mother goose, and Sean (Stanley Tucci) is the white gay equivalent of the “magic Negro”. They all play these roles perfectly. Too perfect, in fact, that they’re not relatable. To be fair, the script doesn't give much room to let the actors spread their wings.

The musical numbers, while somewhat entertaining, does not really progress the story. In Chicago, they told the story of the convicts through the song “The Cell Block Tango” and the courtroom drama through “Hocus Pocus”. Here, the songs are like an after thought. They are just meant to fit what the character is feeling, like how you’d listen and wail to “All by myself” after a bad break up. The movie would survive without the dance and song numbers, and that's when you know there's something wrong with your musical.

Recommendation:


For all its grandness, there’s not much to be said about the story. It’s been done a thousand times, and this brings nothing new to the old tales of success after much hardship. Burlesque is not a bad film, but it is forgettable. Go see it if you’re in the mood for a Cher/Christina Aguilera concert. Otherwise, you’re better off with Tangled.

Welcome to Asian Chick Flicks! ~ An Introduction

Greetings earthlings! I see you have stumbled upon my spunky new blog (which I may or may not "redecorate" later). Below, I shall address some questions you are probably asking yourself.


1. Ok, where the hell am I? What the hell is this?

This is my little review blog where I can put my two cents of everything under the sun. Mostly, I'll be reviewing movies I recently watched, although I'm not limiting myself to any timeline or genre. I might also insert a few anime, manga, video games or convention reports. Anything is possible.

2. Wait, so you're not limited to reviewing Asian chick flicks? Then what's with the title?


Actually, that pertains more to me. I'm Asian, I'm a chick, and these are my reviews of these "flicks". Get it? No? Well then... leave me alone, I'm amused by it. I will be reviewing both Western and Asian movies, so it's not entirely false advertising.